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Everything posted by -=Phantom=-

  1. Stop me if you've heard this... I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way. My friends encouraged me. And my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
  2. Had to put this one in, found it quite funny: A dinner conversation that took the wrong turn - WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)." HUSBAND: (makes audible groan). WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." WIFE: "Would she wear my jewellery?" HUSBAND: "Well, I suppose so." WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?" HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed." WIFE: - - - silence - - - HUSBAND: "s**t..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young farmhand was sent out in a truck to do some repair work on a fence. It should only have taken him an hour and the farmer became concerned when, after two hours, he still hadn't returned. Just then the farmer's mobile phone rang. "I'm on the way back but I've hit a pig," said the farmhand. "Don't worry," said the farmer. "These things happen. But drag the carcass of the road so that nobody else hits it." "But he's not dead. He's kicking and squealing. I'm afraid he's gonna hurt me" said the farmhand. "Ok then," replied the farmer. "There's a shotgun in the back of the truck. Fetch that, shoot the pig and drag the carcass of the road." Half an hour later, the farmer's phone rang again. "I'm still stuck", said the farmhand. "Why?" asked the farmer. "Did the shoot the pig and drag the carcass off the road like I said?" "Yeah, I did, but his motorbike is still jammed under the truck!"
  3. Well, ok then. Hi, my name is Daniel Crawford. I'm a lighting tech down here in Melbourne. I finished school in 2002, and went into the railways straight away, but due to two fatalities (while driving), I decided to move into something more safe. Therefor I became a full time lighting tech. I try to imitate some of the lighting effects from Pink Floyd concerts, but so far, havn't come really that close. I always have my Bull Frog close to me at all times, and it works quite well with 10 Giotto Spot 400's and a few (6) MAC 250's, also in tow are 2 Technobeams. Here is a horrible pic of me setting up at a small school production a few months ago. (i'm on the right) http://images.fotopic.net/?id=4819467&outx=760&oq=0
  4. Which reminds me, the Fat Frog that I hired from Clear Light here in Melbourne, didn't have a monitor output. Needless to say, I was very dissapointed.
  5. It most certainly can! It's kinda hard to fit a BullFrog onto a normal 17" screen.
  6. Well, how about we all tell each other what your latest show was and a rough idea of what you used. Fame the Musical - 48 x Par 64 MFL 4 x Giotto Spot 400 8 x Profile (numerous sorts) 5 x Jands GP12 Dimmers 1 x Zero88 BullFrog This is just a rough idea, all in all, there was ALOT more! Venue size: Hall, approx 1000 pax 4 Nights, approx 4200 pax in total 48 cast, 7 crew.
  7. Well, there was the afterparty..... we just took the desk and movers to the venue (someone's house!)... Looked brill. Worst venue, well, anywhere small.
  8. Ahhh, nice idea, didnt think of that one! Can the Phantom Frog support dual monitor output! LOL
  9. Using a BullFrog, I havn't had any problems or delays with Mac250's/Giotto's........
  10. -=Phantom=-


    Same as our one!
  11. Worth investing in maybe? I constantly used both the submaster and the memories screens (on the monitor). Would it be possible to get an extra monitor output to make it a tad easier. It was a tad annoying flicking between them constantly. You would set up an effect on the submaster (e.g. a curtain warmer), go back to pragram it, and then they change their mind......... Back and forwards.....
  12. It must have been a cold morning! Works fine now. Brilliant, just that one of the Giottos has a mind of its own, but thats the light, not the desk. Apart, she works perfectly.
  13. I dont have a problem not terminating the DMX. Though it goes Desk --> Dimmer --> Dimmer --> Dimmer --> Mover --> Mover --> Mover -->Mover.
  14. Well, after struggling to fit the BullFrog into the back of my car, I finally had a go at it. Super easy to program, just one button! One thing I found is that, when turning the desk on, it doesnt like having the Dimmers/Movers on. It just 'partially' turns on, LCD screen goes funny, then it needs to be reset, but, apart (though it isnt a problem for me). This is the best desk I have used! Well done Zero88!
  15. I took the logo down to my local print store and asked what they could do. So, for a cheap price, they printed it onto the front, (the frog pic with Zero88 under) and on the back, the same, but larger. The shirt is black, and has a white "Crew" down the bottom, the logo on the front is silver, an green on the back. I'll attempt to get a picture up.
  16. Didn't Pink Floyd use this kind of thing at there Pulse concert in 1994? (Earls Court)
  17. Aha! Brilliant new adaptation of the stories of the bible in a way that the "modern internet user" will find easy to understand! * Jehova has joined #Eden <Jehova> Now, let's make that man. * Jehova models some dust and clay * Jehova breaths in the nostrils <Jehova> That should do the trick * Adam has joined #Eden <Adam> w00t <Jehova> quite <Jehova> listen up, adam <Jehova> I got some trees up there, and one of them is Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil <Jehova> If you eat from that tree, I'll kickban your ass <Adam> k, dude, relax <Jehova> Almost forgot, I have some companions for you * Bunch_of_animals has joined #Eden <Bunch_of_animals> Boo, hiss, rattle <Adam> Jeez, great <Jehova> erm, Adam <Jehova> You're not supposed to do that with a chicken <Jehova> nm, I'll create another companion for you <Jehova> You go to sleep now * Adam is now known as Adam|zZz * Jehova takes Adam|zZz's rib and builds a woman <Jehova> there * Eve has joined #Eden <Adam|zZz> w00t!!1 * Adam|zZz is now known as Adam <Adam> ASL? <Eve> newborn, female, eden! <Adam> omg! me too, but male <Eve> omfg! you're nekkid! <Adam> so what! your too! <Eve> lol * Jehova sighs <Jehova> bbl * Jehova has left #Eden * Serpent has joined #Eden <Serpent> Pssst! he said you can't eat the fruit? <Eve> Yeah, so? <Serpent> lol, u wont die, eat a fruit! * Eve munches <Eve> You eat too, Adam, or I won't go down on you <Adam> mmm-kay * Adam munches <Adam> OMFG WERE NEKKID!!!1 <Eve> NOOO, WTF! <Adam> I feel so drrrty <Serpent> lmao * Jehova has joined #Eden <Jehova> what have you done? <Eve> it was the serpent! <Jehova> Serpent, schmerpent! <Adam> really! * Jehova sets mode: -v Serpent <Jehova> fs * Jehova sets mode: +b Adam!*adam@host1.10.1.genesis.com * Jehova sets mode: +b Eve!*eve@host1.10.2.genesis.com * Adam was kicked by Jehova (Get out!) * Eve was kicked by Jehova (Get out!) * Jehova changes topic to "and stay out!" * Flamingsword has joined #Eden * Jehova sets mode: +o Flamingsword * Jehova has left IRC (signed off) Joke, hahahah!
  18. Well, a small show I did a few years ago. Few giottos, trackspots and about 48 64's.......
  19. USS Enterprise This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ENTERPRISE,THE LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH - THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH - OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. wait for it ........ Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
  20. At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence, the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line." President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex." Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."
  21. Just a quick question, havn't actually used the desk yet, but I have an umcomming show with one (theatre), now, since i'm use to the LSC programming method, where you put your scenes into an FX master to use for the main playback. Can you do this with a BullFrog? and how?
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