Jump to content
Zero 88 Community Support Forum
Sign in to follow this  
Yves

Knock Knock Jokes

Recommended Posts

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Sorry, wrong door.

Okay.

 

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Federal Express

Federal Express who?

I don’t know. I just deliver packages.

 

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Tom.

Tom who?

Tom Buchanan.

Hi Tom.

 

 

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Pizza delivery guy.

Pizza delivery guy who?

You ordered a pizza?

Yes.

I’m the guy delivering it.

Great.

 

 

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Susan.

Susan who?

Susan Caldwell.

I’ll be right out, Susan.

 

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there.

You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable.

You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable who?

I thought this was a redneck joke.

Nope. It’s a knock, knock joke.

Oops.

 

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Boo

Boo who

Don’t get so upset, crybaby!

What?

Ha! Ha! I made you say “boo-hooâ€

You’re a real idiot.

That wasn’t necessary.

 

 

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Creeping duck.

Creeping duck who?

I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

 

 

Knock, knock

Yo mama

Yo mama who?

Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago.

I bet you’re fat, huh?

I’m…

You are, aren’t you? Fat!

I’m plumpish.

 

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

FBI!

…

…

Hello? FBI! Let us in!

…

…nobody here…

Oh. Let’s go boys!

(Phew!)

 

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Henry.

Henry who?

Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac?

I’m not opening the door Henry.

Damn.

 

 

Knock, knock

Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH!

Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who?

Actually, I’m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So…

You want to use my toilet?

Yeah?

Go right ahead.

Got anything to read?

Just the crossword.

You finished it.

Sorry?

Hold my scythe.

Hey! Don’t forget to light a match.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Knock, Knock

Who’s there?

I know it's you.

Crap.

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

A talking pig.

Pigs can’t talk.

Neither can penguins, but I can’t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra…

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

You want to buy a kitten?

You want to buy a kitten who?

Make pretty pet.

I’m allergic to cats.

Taste good, too?

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

You sure you don’t want buy a little kitten?

Yes, I’m sure.

Could make one cute fuzzy glove?

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Ted Bundy

Ted Bundy who?

Let me in, meat!

No!

I mean… Hello I am Santa Claus.

Yay! Santa!

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile.

Saddam, I think it’s for you!

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves!

Dork-ass loser.

Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me!

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

My mouth is full of spiders.

My mouth is full of spiders who?

I didn’t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting…

Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup.

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Hitler

Hitler who?

Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? “HEIL ME!†Ring a bell?

I thought you were someone else.

How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER!

Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler.

You’re just trying to annoy me now.

Do you really have just one testicle?

You’d think I miss it, but I don’t

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

What, and that makes you special?

 

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Some.

Some who?

Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes. .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×